Pad out that copy

PA this morning:

"Dr Reid formally opened the inquest with the words: 'I am opening the inquest into the death of Alexander Litvinenko'."

Not the same Dr Reid moonlighting down at the coroner's court I assume

Ben Brogan

The Mail's Ben Brogan gets abused for not updating his blog very often, imagine that, but when he does it's worth reading - he puts insightful stuff on there he wouldn't get to write for the paper, like an advance copy of Private Eye. He's written this about the Sun breaking news of Brown's son's disease, and must be the first person to come out and discuss the political implications.

This is what we do 2

Well-paid executive you've never heard of leaves for well paid executive job: Britain in crisis

Is it just me or is this Michael Grade story totally out of proportion? Sky has been gloating all morning while suggesting the BBC is collapsing, it's on all the front pages and news 24 has been like a dog chasing its tail

I was hoping Kay Burley would ask for some comments by text:

I'm totally gutted. Who will provide the BBC with the leadership it so desperately needs in these difficult post-digital times?John, Buntingford

I can't believe it. We loved your scheduling of Panorama in the 1980s Michael!!!Daisy, Brussels

What a massive load of old bollocks. Tom, you probably disagree but that's because you've been sent on too many training courses, or propaganda emersion sessions as I like to call them

No doubt eating licence-fee funded truffles and burning £50 notes while you were there

I was already annoyed - while a bit hungover - this morning when I turned on BBC breakfast and they were interviewing the writer of a new drama about the tsunami. How interesting and newsworthy - if only it were going out, say, on BBC2 this evening

At least there were no references to James Bond that I noticed

I tell a lie, not all of the papers have splashed on Grade. The Express warns the country faces a "tornado terror" today, but seeing as last week's new ice age failed to materialise I think I'll risk leaving my bunker

uniquely funded introspection

A colleague points out the BBC sent out a text alert about BBC reporter's Nick Clarke's death, which they usually use for major stories.

I'm starting to come over a bit Tunbridge Wells about the BBC, sometimes more prone to navel gazing than a story in G2 about great places to buy olive oil on Faringdon Road.

Breakfast in the morning sometimes seems like they're just reading out the TV guide for that evening's viewing on BB1 and 2.

Why can't they make it happen? I forgot the current slogan - feel the bread? reach the knees?

a final brow

The brutal murder of Pierre Gemayel inevitably gives us pause for thought. What role does Syria play in Lebanon? Will sectarian tensions boil over into civil war? And, of course it reminds us of the death of former Lebanese Prime Minister, Rafik Hariri, and invites us to ask: will we ever see the likes of Mr Hariri's eyebrows again?

come back to what you know

Wales may be the UK's 'underwired erotic coquette', but last week it was Norn Iron's turn to make the news when it was lauded by the world's most patronising guidebook, Lonely Planet.

Lonely planet founder Maureen Wheeler apparently claimed, "I love the city, its grittiness, its resilience and its beauty and I love how Belfast people turn every social interaction into an excuse for a party." Maureen loves her home city so much that she lives in...Australia.

It's hard to argue that Belfast is a city on the rise. But a sense of perspective may be needed here. The best parts of the city for any visitor depends on their denomination: crusties will want to loiter outside the City Hall then head to the Limelight, while steeky spides appreciate the Superbowl, or anywhere with a good supply of Bucky.

Never mind tourism though, after 40 years of subsidising 'our wee country' and its curious political system-not to mention El Gordo's latest offer of fifty billion quid-most British taxpayers probably feel they've earned an all-expenses trip to Northern Ireland. I have it on good authority that they'll get a warm welcome: as Maureen says, "the people are warm and genuine".

Theresa's gags 2

And this gem from Hansard in June

I am sure that many hon. Members will be saddened to hear about the demise of “Top of the Pops”, which has played such a role in the cultural life of the nation. Of course, pop songs can be very relevant to politics. For example, given the Home Secretary’s recent problems, I wonder whether he should listen to the U2 track “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”. Perhaps we could have a touch of Dire Straits for the Deputy Prime Minister with the track “Money for Nothing”. I suppose that the Chancellor might look to Diana Ross with “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”. Perhaps the Prime Minister would like the Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go”. Talking of clashes, perhaps the Chancellor would describe his relationship with the Prime Minister with the White Stripes track “Every Day I Love You Less and Less”. Or, given the Chancellor’s commitment to new Labour, maybe his track for him and the Prime Minister should be Elton John’s “Friends Never Say Goodbye”: “There isn’t much I haven’t shared
With you along the road...
Who’s to say who’s right or wrong
Whose course is braver run
Still we are, have always been
Will ever be as one”.

Theresa's gags

Theresa May has kicked off the first business questions of the new parliamentary sessions with some more APPALLING jokes. Asking for a debate, in light of the release of the new James Bond film, (the alarm bells were ringing loudly here) on something or other to do with popular culture, she said because Blair kept closing hospitals he must be 'Dr No'. GB, becuase of yesterday's "clunking great fist comment", must be Jaws. Think Jaws was more about having a steely mouth really Theresa, but push on. And Oddjob? That must be the deputy prime minister. Of course. Jack Straw was entirely justified in responding by saying he'd hoped that she would have used the recess to sack her speechwriter.

I wonder if she could be sharing speechwriters with Sarah Teather

vague

Vaguest policy commitment of the day:

The Welsh Conservatives promise to "improve the transport systems of Wales"

Personally I would cast my vote for the party standing on the "make transport in Wales worse" platform

Children are the future

Brilliant account of Glyn from Big Brother telling some school kids to vote Plaid, and saying he wants to be first minister. Makes me pine to be back at CJS. Actually I have a horrible feeling whoever writes this blog is at CJS, clearly the calibre of students attempting the online module has improved

9/11, as seen by the Newport Argus

Stumbled across this as I was looking for Goff Morgan's Newport poem. Why would anyone buy the Argus to find out about September 11th?
Anyone else have examples of great world events seen through the prism of local rags? How about the Witney Gazette's reporting of the Asian Tsunami, Wheaty? Or the Ham Recorder's account of the fall of the Berlin Wall, Daisy?

Newport, Newport

For a belated response to Newport's ommission from a list of places that chime with the description of Wales as an "erotic coquette", I turn to the world's most feeble poet, Goff Morgan, and his encomium to my, and his, home town:


I loves Newport 'cos
The people are so friendly
Warm, and smiling,
And ready for the fight!
I hates Newport 'cos
The people are so ugly,
Rude, and aggressive
And spoiling for a fight!

I loves Newport 'cos
The architecture's lovely,
Victorian and Edwardian
And an asset to the town!
I hates Newport 'cos
The buildings are old and dirty,
And the bus station's repellent,
And it's letting down the town.

I loves Newport 'cos
It's growing and it's changing
It just keeps getting better
That's why I keep coming back!
I hates Newport 'cos
Nothing ever changes,
It's been going down hill for fifty years,
That's why I'm not coming back!

I hates it 'cos I loves it,
I want everything and nothing
To preserve it and expand it
In the gloom or in the sun.
I loves it and I hates it 'cos
It's changing and it's constant
It's ancient and it's modern
And everything to everyone.

Goff Morgan - October 2006

How much does Prezza weigh?

The Lib Dems proposed a 'freedom bill' yesterday to cut back on legislation

Best fact is that the 114,366 pages of every act and statutory instrument passed since '97 - without bindings mind - weigh more than 36 stone - more than the combined weight of two John Prescotts.

I hoped the Lib Dem press office had somehow lured the DPM onto a set of scales, but according to the footnotes they used "telephone-based research service Any Question Answered".

Not made up by someone via text message service AQA then

Turning Japanese

Two weeks away in Japan, and look at all the posts! I almost dropped my souvenir print of Mount Fuji...

As well as giving me an opportunity to acquire more GY tat, the trip to the Land of the Rising Sun was a chance to see a country with a different approach to the media.

Not satisfied with having heated toilet seats and cigarette vending machines on every street, the Japanese also boast the highest level of newspaper readership anywhere in the world (more than 80% take a daily paper).

Noteworthy in itself, its all the more remarkable for the fact that, if the English translations are correct, Japanese papers are UNBELIEVABLY BORING.

This is the Daily Yomuri's coverage of whether the country's new President, Shinzo Abe, would visit the notorious Yasakuni Shrine, where several Class A war criminals are venerated:

"Meanwhile, Abe avoided the issue of whether he would visit the war-related Yasukuni Shrine during his tenure, reportedly saying that he would not comment on whether he would visit the shrine because such remarks would likely become a political and diplomatic issue."

No wonder they all fall asleep on the tube. But the message for British newspapers is clear. More deference, more lengthy pieces on procedural issues -- and watch the sales sky-rocket.

Winning formula #2

If it ain't broke, or even if it is. Their Diana source must be on his hols. "She IS wearing one but you can't see it under Muslim scarf"

What an athlete

Wot no Newport?

"A TORY MP from Surrey has written an extraordinary paean to Wales, describing the nation as an "underwired erotic coquette" and Swansea as "Britain's Bay of Naples".
Michael Gove, who represents the quintessential Home Counties constituency of Surrey Heath, also spoke of Wales' burgeoning "sexiness" and praised South Wales' innate "romantic and sensual" qualities.
"There is an undeniable strain of loucheness in the South Wales air, and one that I think is even more pronounced if one goes a little farther west, to the city that even more than Cardiff is Britain's most Mediterranean - Swansea," he said.
Swansea's Lord Mayor last night predictably welcomed the comments, although he went to point out that Swansea was, in his view, "better than Naples". "

Having seen St Mary St on a Saturday night I think I know what he means about loucheness.