Friday, April 27, 2007

Prince of darkness

I've just been checking out some PPBs as they say in the trade (for all I know). Hands down winner is Plaid's, which features a hilariously evil Labour apparatchik visiting the local HQ. He's from London, and he doesn't give a toss about whether the kids get their free laptops. I can't decide what's my favourite thing about it, it's either the bit where he says he got to go because he's got a restaurant reservation - subtle, the new Labour scumbag is desperate to get back to the Ivy - or it's the clumsy script which has Labour party staff sitting around saying 'But who decided to close all the hospitals?'

Western Dis-Mail

The Western Mail is so unrelentingly poor you could post something every day showing what a woeful rag it is.
So here goes. On Fridays, there's an dull, rambling column called "the pensioner", written by the crusty-looking woman called Elaine Morgan. I think local newspapers call these kind of chumps "community correspondents" and relegate them to some obscure part of the paper, or stick them in a supplement. Yeah, they're crap, but at least they're free. But in the Western Mail, it's run next to the editorial.
This week gets off to an unpromising start:

"I STAND here in sackcloth and ashes.
Facts are sacred, and last week I got two of them wrong about the independent candidate."


Still, lesson learnt you'd have thought. Till you get half way down and:

"I must say, I’ve lost count of the people who are pontificating about George Brown and David Miliband and David Cameron without ever having shaken hands with them"

George Brown. GEORGE BROWN! Jesus!

Friday, April 20, 2007

This fruit has given the bees cancer

The Express today has New alert over dangers in our fruit, but best last week was in the Mail - I read this on holiday as they print it fresh in Spain - Mobile phones ARE killing our bees. Other papers had the same story, but they can't match the Mail for style.

I pointed it out to my mum, and she said it's true you know, there are fewer bees than there used to be.

Also a great Sarah Sands cuttings mash-up on Lembit in today's Mail, in which she refers to the Cheeky Girls appearing on Saturday morning youth TV programme Balls of Steel. I'm pretty sure she didn't see that show if she thought it was Saturday morning, unless she was having a massive wig out at the time

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

sensitive

Like all papers the Daily Mail leads on the Virginia Tech shooting: "33 die in America's worst ever shooting" etc. etc.
The only other thing on the front page is a lareg advert for a free DVD. It's described as a "sensational action thriller", but, strangely, there's no mention of what it's actually called. Turn to page 35, and the paper reveal, it's the spectacularly inappropriate "On Dangerous Ground"...

Friday, April 06, 2007

smell the desperation

Obviously sent out to get reaction from friends and family of the former Iran captives, Nick Ravenscroft has just done a live...from a cornershop...with a shopkeeper and his family who clearly barely knew one of the freed sailors...who wasn't even at the press conference

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Mixed metaphor of the year

Meant to post this last week - Peter Ainsworth, commenting on the Lyons Report
"The government's silence on this issue will echo around the countryside"

Why is Kay Burley in Devon to cover the sailors returning from Iran? I didn't think they let her leave the office exept to appear on celebrity stars in your ice